Science Says Santa Claus is Coming to Town

A recent article shows that there are modern scientific theories that could be applied to the Santa Claus dilemma, proving he exists. Dr. Larry Silverberg, a professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering at North Carolina State University in Raleigh shows us step by step how Santa does business.

Santa Can’t Know What Everyone Wants
This is why Santa has a personal channel of communication to kids’ thoughts via technology used in cell phones and EKGs. A signal processing system filters the data to help him know who wants what, who deserves it, and where they all live.

Santa Can’t Deliver Everything in Time
The system-filtered data is synced to Santa’s on-sleigh board that formulates the most efficient delivery route, allowing him to make stops as quickly as possible. Dr. Silverberg says that Santa taps into his knowledge of the space-time continuum to form what Silverberg calls “relativity clouds.”

“Relativity clouds are controllable domains—rips in time—that allow him months to deliver presents while only a few minutes pass on Earth. The presents are truly delivered in a wink of an eye,” Silverberg says.

Santa’s Reindeer Can’t Fly
The reindeer are, according to Silverberg, “genetically bred to fly, balance on rooftops, and see well in the dark.” This genetic enhancement makes them physically capable of enduring the long-distance travels and late-night delivery stops.

Millions of Gifts Will Weigh Down the Sleigh
This is why Santa does not carry children’s gifts pre-packaged. Millions of gifts will not fit into his sleek sleigh. He creates the gifts on-site. Silverberg proposes that Santa uses materials on hand such as snow and dirt and a nano-toy maker. This process is just like that of DNA, which “commands the growth of organic material like tissues and body parts.”

Santa Can’t Eat that Many Cookies
Santa and his furry friends nibble on the treats left for them; the rest is stored in the sleigh’s built-in food dehydrator. This dries out the food and preserves it to be eaten later.

These theories help us to see there may be, just maybe, a scientific explanation for how Santa does it. Whether you believe or not is up to you. As for Dr. Silverberg and his team, “this is our vision of Santa’s delivery method, given the human, physical, and engineering constraints we face today.”

Cover photo by mbgrigby

—Madison Parks, The College of Physical and Mathematical SciencesMadison Parks, College of Physical and Mathematical Sciences

Lynn


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